I too have tasted the DESIRE for death………

Hi, Mark!

I have been an ardent idealist all my life.

Well……..I am sure we as NeoThink members ALL know the fate of idealists.

We live in a cynical (and I DARE say wretched society)(The anti-civilization as you call it)

Perhaps your experience is similar. Perhaps the experience of other NeoThink members is similar. I would, at times of heightened excitement, try to share some of my lofty ideals with family, friends, or with people at school or work. You can predict the result! POW!! (Remember the old Batman TV series with all its POW’s and SOCK’s and CRUNCHES?) This would make a good visual for what I am talking about. Such cynicism!! Such belief in death and dishonor and violence and everything entropic.
They would attack my ideals. Sometimes viciously. Would not even listen to them. Over even acknowledge that maybe this is something that could, that should, be considered. Or that is was important to me, perhaps, for a vital and valuable reason.

Perhaps you and my fellow members have heard things like this:

“It is not ours to question why, it ours to do or die”

Remember that one?

How about:

“The only things certain in life are death and taxes”

“You should not aim too high in life; just be satisfied with what you’ve got”

“It doesn’t matter what YOU think……..you have to conform”

“When your country calls, you must go, no questions asked!!”
(Excuse me, maybe it IS my life and MY choice to make!!)

“Just shut up, do your job, pay your taxes, and don’t rock the boat”

In one way or the other these messages were all about conformity, compromise, self sacrifice,
and a spiral towards decay and death.

Talk about feeling discouraged!!

I learned to keep my mouth shut. I learned not even to mention any lofty ideals.

Here’s another one:

“And who the hell are you that you think YOU could do that…….or that THAT could happen”

And then I would see the violence in my own family. Drunken violence and very harsh sentiments. I became kind of a nervous wreck. And became fairly withdrawn. There have been arrests and there have been physical assaults. And a WHOLE lot of negativity and hostility.

Why? Why? Why?

And then I would look at the world……………(need I continue?)

I wouldn’t DARE say that PLAY, yes, PLAY is the way adults should live their lives. That play is the highest expression in life. Play, properly defined, of course.

I can imagine (in dark dreams) the vinegar I would get on that one.

But when my life came to a point where I began to feel depressed, sometimes PANIC, and worst of all, when I would experience my greatest fear (terror really……..I will not say what it is), I began to wonder it I was born on the wrong planet. If I should even want to continue. I just have to eliminate this terror I am feeling.

Why does everyone seem so trained on death and destruction?

But something else is true……………

You can guess what this is!!

My taste for life. Yes, My taste for life.
My taste for life that has been there since the very beginning of my life.
My taste for life!!

My taste for unbridled, ever expanding, ever enhancing life!!

And THIS has most definitely been AMPLIFIED over the last several years.

And I’m fighting mad. I am ready to make contributions to fulfillment of MY IDEALS!!

What are these ideals?

I share many of them with you. Biological immortality. The Prime Law. Play as a lifestyle. Reaching for, nurturing, and re exciting the inner child.

We will not lay down now. We will build our world of ideals. We will not surrender. We want life!! We want life!! We want life………..

And how DARE anyone say that we can not have it…………..

My desire for death was transitory and short lived.

My desire for life………is immortal………..and ever hungry!!
My desire for life, now, is as immortal as I know we will all be……….

My desire for life is now UNSTOPPABLE.

I do believe I am in the right company. In NeoTech. And in other societies too.

Thanks, Mark for welcoming me home.

The future is yet young…………..

Tom B.