Trying/Stuck/making steps/Anxious

Wonderful,the road ahead I wanted to travel,if I can just get going,missed 3 months no computer,I feel alone but now I know I’m not,I always avoided politics because it seemed like it was of no use, I had gone against everything establishment to find now I was probably right,I’ve never given up and I’ve paid the price,alone, pain, I still question everything, I am a searcher,and I’ve alot to sort through to find my FNE I think I would take off like a rocket if I put my life on mini-days. I haven’t and that sucks because here is something I do want, to be honest, healthy and happy! I can’t even find a job at present.? Tomorrow will be better! Great lesson,regret I got behind and lost momentum.From reading heirlooms and having had those pieces come together seeing differnt and even anticipating whats next and then seeing it happen just like you knew it would is spiritual, well I had it, lost it, and now I am struggling again. Help!